Posts Tagged ‘change’

Reasons Happen for a Thing

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Philip A. Gonzales 

Reasons Happen for a Thing

Reasons Happen for a Thing

For years, I tried to believe that things happen for a reason. I performed some uncomfortable mental contortions in an attempt to fit that idea into my cranium. Didn’t work; I still don’t get it. The term “for a reason” means that there is an answer to the question “Why?” So to complete the statement “Things happen for a reason… ” I had to say “… but nobody will ever know the reason.” For what reason does genocide happen? For what reason did that plane crash? For what reason will an avalanche fill her belly with that little mountain village? I give up. Turns out that our cognition is miraculous in taking us through the pleasures and perils of life. 

Things happen. We sense the things that are happening. That’s cognition. But then comes our metacognition. It’s all over the map. Yes, things do happen. Life is not messy; chocolate is messy. Life is perilous. And we want to know why. When the largest Tsunami in human history hit Alaska, there were three boats in its path. One sank. The other two rode the crest of that 1,700-foot wave and the occupants survived. Our inner beings want to ride the crest of the bad stuff that happens, so we ask “why”. Just the act of searching for a reason gives us a feeling of rising above the struggles; it drives us toward refinement of our mental suvival skills. It’s very useful. There is hardly ever a clear answer, but we try to make survival more of a certainty by looking for reasons. 

Reasons happen for a thing. Reasons and things happen almost simultaneously, but your brain begins to create the reasons within a very small fraction of a second after an occurrence that requires your attention. If you are using your senses to recognize the true nature of the world around you, then attention happens. Attention requires the use of three parts of your brain: the sensory, the emotional, and the action centers. It’s called the Triangular Circuit of Attention. Right alongside all this raw perception and attention, your left hemisphere chimes in as the “spin doctor”, in the words of psychologist Steven Pinker of Harvard University. That’s when the reasons happen, and they play a leading role in your survival. The more dangerous, confusing, or bizarre the occurrence, the faster your brain will kick into action searching for an explanation. New York University’s Joseph LeDoux (LeDoux Lab) has performed research that reveals the brain functions that arise as we cause reasons to happen for a thing. Author Laurence Gonzales (Deep Survival, Everyday Survival), writing in National Geographic Adventure, surveys the work of Pinker and LeDoux. Um, yes… he is my brother. 

I remain open-minded. An explanation of how things can happen for a reason would hold my interest. I believe in God. But I think that the power of God is revealed in the patterns of our universe that, by their very precision, strike us as being largely random. In light of all the science that illustrates how reasons happen, I’m feeling pretty good about this little survival mechanism that’s been given to us. We live in a world of change, but we try to establish comfortable patterns. It’s in our nature to try to make the rough places plain. Peace is not inherent in nature, but we strive to create peace in our minds. Still, there is a looming question: Can I create peace in a healthy mind that recognizes all of the realities that my senses report? 

As your “spin doctor” comes up with reasons, allow it to lead you toward a deeper understanding of your own responses to what happens, without judgement. Steven Pinker also calls the left side of the brain a “baloney generator”. Well, it’s up to you to determine whether your left hemisphere is going to generate baloney, or to provide you with an incisive frame of thought as you happen to your own life.

The Steps to Your Miracle

Monday, December 7th, 2009

Philip A. Gonzales

Path to Your Miracle

Steps to Your Miracle

“Survive and Thrive”

Miracles happen, starting with the miracle of life itself.
But we call for miracles when things are going wrong; not when everything is running smoothly.
What are the steps to reach your miracle?

Step One: “Sudden Loss”
Shock, Despair, Anger – even shame…
Your life has just changed suddenly… but it’s not the change you wanted. You’ve lost your job. A family crisis has occurred. You’re in the midst of a serious personal loss.

Crisis will alter your world. You don’t understand it. Everything seems different now. You follow the lead of the support communities, but you’ve been launched into new territory; you find yourself working toward unfamiliar goals. There’s no sense of certainty about your future.

“What am I supposed to do now!? I need a miracle!”

Step Two: “Temporary Relief”
Desperation, Isolation, Uncertainty
Quick action is necessary. There is a pressing need to get help with what has happened to you and your family. Some support services come to you right away: unemployment benefits, job resources, public financial support, or urgent medical care in the case of a medical crisis. It suddenly seems that there may be people out there who care about you and your family.

You move through the complex systems and requirements that may mean recovery from your situation. Strangers and unfamiliar settings occupy your attention. At times, you feel like the answers to your questions will never be clear.

“This sure doesn’t feel like a miracle, but maybe there’s some hope…”

Step Three: “Informed Outreach”
Hope, Support, Vision
As your new routines become more established, you start to see some progress – even slow progress. You begin reaching out to the broader community of people who might help you.  You begin to see that there is a community of services that may be able to help.
Remember that progress toward your goal –  and your understanding of your new world – will be inconsistent; an up-and-down process. There are times when you feel hopeful; the puzzle pieces fit together.  But then, there are other times when the vision seems to fade, and the road ahead seems to be a greater distance than what you’ve already traveled.

“Forget miracles! I’d better find out more about what I can do myself.”

Step Four: “Negotiated Resolution”
Action, Clarity, Refinement, Tradition
Through the daily struggle of living with loss, there comes a time when successful outreach, hard work, and support lead to a sense of renewal; a new routine.  Each successful step confirms that your new way of life is manageable – even rewarding.

You now understand enough about your new world that you are able to take the lead at times. You are evolving to become the Director of your own process.  The community that has formed around you to provide support will now listen to you. Others want to know what you have been through. You and your family are now “experts” in how to cope with some serious life experiences.

“I’m in there! I did it! Things are really turning around now!”

Step Five: “Mature Leadership”
Empathy, Generosity, Ingenuity, Recognition
You’ve made it through. Now you see the world in a different way; your experiences have changed your viewpoints. You see others who are in the “Sudden Loss” stage or the “Temporary Relief” stage of this process.  You understand immediately what they are going though.  Your instinct is to engage further in the community. Now that you have reached out for help, you want to reach out and help.
You’ve been transformed from Victim to Rescuer.
It was hard work, but you attended your own miracle. Now you can look forward to the next miracle in your life, and attend the miracles of other people around you.

“It is a miracle… I’m transformed. But I had to attend my miracle to make it happen.”

Welcome to
“Change: The Fuel for Growth”

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
a journal of perpetual renewal

A Journal of Perpetual Renewal

Dear Readers,
It is with great joy that I welcome you to the new blog, “Change: The Fuel for Growth”. As the father and primary caregiver of a child with daunting medical challenges, I am driven to help others in any way possible. With one hand, God gave me some overwhelming challenges to face. With the other, He gave me sensibilities and skills that just might allow me to meet the challenges.

And He gave me the gift of writing. Through this new blog, I will make an effort to meet all of you on common ground. I will make an effort to tell the stories that can inspire and inform some of you who search for a new light to shed on your lives. And I will listen to you.

Please read “Change: The Fuel for Growth” regularly, sign up to submit comments, and tap into a feed if you like what you hear. I look forward to watching this new conversation develop over time.

Be well,
Philip A. Gonzales
“Capn”