Philip A. Gonzales
Steps to Your Miracle
“Survive and Thrive”
Miracles happen, starting with the miracle of life itself.
But we call for miracles when things are going wrong; not when everything is running smoothly.
What are the steps to reach your miracle?
Step One: “Sudden Loss”
Shock, Despair, Anger – even shame…
Your life has just changed suddenly… but it’s not the change you wanted. You’ve lost your job. A family crisis has occurred. You’re in the midst of a serious personal loss.
Crisis will alter your world. You don’t understand it. Everything seems different now. You follow the lead of the support communities, but you’ve been launched into new territory; you find yourself working toward unfamiliar goals. There’s no sense of certainty about your future.
“What am I supposed to do now!? I need a miracle!”
Step Two: “Temporary Relief”
Desperation, Isolation, Uncertainty
Quick action is necessary. There is a pressing need to get help with what has happened to you and your family. Some support services come to you right away: unemployment benefits, job resources, public financial support, or urgent medical care in the case of a medical crisis. It suddenly seems that there may be people out there who care about you and your family.
You move through the complex systems and requirements that may mean recovery from your situation. Strangers and unfamiliar settings occupy your attention. At times, you feel like the answers to your questions will never be clear.
“This sure doesn’t feel like a miracle, but maybe there’s some hope…”
Step Three: “Informed Outreach”
Hope, Support, Vision
As your new routines become more established, you start to see some progress – even slow progress. You begin reaching out to the broader community of people who might help you. You begin to see that there is a community of services that may be able to help.
Remember that progress toward your goal – and your understanding of your new world – will be inconsistent; an up-and-down process. There are times when you feel hopeful; the puzzle pieces fit together. But then, there are other times when the vision seems to fade, and the road ahead seems to be a greater distance than what you’ve already traveled.
“Forget miracles! I’d better find out more about what I can do myself.”
Step Four: “Negotiated Resolution”
Action, Clarity, Refinement, Tradition
Through the daily struggle of living with loss, there comes a time when successful outreach, hard work, and support lead to a sense of renewal; a new routine. Each successful step confirms that your new way of life is manageable – even rewarding.
You now understand enough about your new world that you are able to take the lead at times. You are evolving to become the Director of your own process. The community that has formed around you to provide support will now listen to you. Others want to know what you have been through. You and your family are now “experts” in how to cope with some serious life experiences.
“I’m in there! I did it! Things are really turning around now!”
Step Five: “Mature Leadership”
Empathy, Generosity, Ingenuity, Recognition
You’ve made it through. Now you see the world in a different way; your experiences have changed your viewpoints. You see others who are in the “Sudden Loss” stage or the “Temporary Relief” stage of this process. You understand immediately what they are going though. Your instinct is to engage further in the community. Now that you have reached out for help, you want to reach out and help.
You’ve been transformed from Victim to Rescuer.
It was hard work, but you attended your own miracle. Now you can look forward to the next miracle in your life, and attend the miracles of other people around you.