Monica Gomez
Antonio and Thomas Meet
Kids with Down Syndrome are said to be “so affectionate and loving”. Being the mother of one, I think it’s not exactly so. It’s not that they are affectionate and angelically loving just as a characteristic of their condition. They have mental retardation, which means that their minds do not develop in the way our minds typically do. That implies that they do not have all the inhibitions that we do.
Typically, a child who starts socializing in kindergarten learns what’s polite and what’s not; what to do and what not to do. You kiss the people your Mum tells you to. You stay away from strangers. Kids with Down Syndrome are not born with that learning ability, so they act according to what they feel, regardless of whether it is socially acceptable or not. I could tell many funny anecdotes about that, but the one that comes to mind happened on a plane when I was flying with my son from Buenos Aires to New York. Tommy was three years old then. I stood up to take him to the toilet. There was a woman some rows behind. She saw that I was picking up a child, and put on the face that says, “Oh how nice, here comes a little child.” When we went past her, she saw his Down Syndrome face, and was shocked. But to cover that shock she uttered, “Ohhhhh, they’re soooo affectionate!” At that exact moment, Tommy slapped her face. My “normal” socialized mind made me say, “No, Tommy, you don’t do that.” However, I secretly wanted to congratulate him. He had understood what this woman was feeling, and he acted accordingly. It was his response to her stupidity.
As you see, instead of acting rationally, he acts with his heart. Now, what’s normal in that situation; following your mind, or following your heart? Where is “normality” written down? Sometimes I have an image of Tommy and people like him looking at us and saying, “Poor little creatures. They suffer from an overdose of mental analysis, and in doing so, they’re missing the basic and wonderful things on Earth” I think that all people with disabilities are different. Oh, yes, they definitely are. But different in what sense?
Let me explain. To me, they are different in the sense that they’ve dealt with tragedy at least once in their lives, and they not only carried on but also overcame daily challenges that are unimaginable to us “normals”. I think that all those experiences give them a completely different point of view of life. Everyday chores that we take for granted, like making coffee or using the toilet, can be a real challenge for these people. Not to mention social acceptance, financial trouble and so on.
So that’s what makes them special. I don’t use the word “special” the way it is usually used by people without disabilities. Some say, “a person with different abilities” instead of “disabled”. However you call it, they live with tremendous challenges! The fact of facing these tribulations every single day provides a kind of maturity and consciousness that we “normals” don’t have. I think we have a lot to learn from “special people”, which they are! Their hearts vibrate at a different rate. I myself learn a lot from my son and my friends Vivian and Ann, who suffered from back injuries and are in wheelchairs. And I humbly thank them for that.
If only we normal people could open up to diversity and be ready to take what others have to offer, the world could become a more peaceful place in which to live.